New blog..

Okay everyone! I have a new blog and I'm going to keep up with this one!
It's a book review blog!

Please go and follow! http://curledupwithbooks.blogspot.com

Thanks!

Sometimes it's hard...

I find it hard to be around my engaged friends. It's not that I'm not happy for them, because I really and truly am.

I'm just jealous because it should be me too.

I know that my time will come and it will happen when it's right, and it will be perfect. But I can't help but feel a little sadness around other people who are all so extremely happy...

Missing you/Long Distance quotes...

The thought of being with you tomorrow gives me the strength to go on today.

Missing you becomes easier every day because even though it’s one day farther from the last time I saw you, it’s one day closer to the next time I will.

Distance means so little when someone means so much.

Every minute feels like an hour, every hour feels like a day, and every day feels like forever. But I will wait forever and a day for you.

Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be.

When you feel alone, look at the spaces between your fingers and know that that’s where mine fit perfectly.

When your far away, I miss you, but I know your here with me.

Jobs!!!

Can I just say I HATE job hunting? It seriously sucks.

Child life is a very difficult field to get into and I've been told many times that I would probably only get hired on as a supplemental/per diem in the beginning. That however, really sucks because there's only one hospital near me and they aren't hiring.

I just interviewed at a hospital in Richland that told me they had a part time position open. Well apparently they don't at the moment. They are hiring for a per diem as their full time person is on maternity leave. This person wants to go to part time but hasn't given the manager a definite decision. So if I got hired on as per diem i would be working full time until the other person came back. And if she did decide to go to part time, then I would automatically be a shoo in for the position. I guess the lady is supposed to decide by february and they are still doing interviews in February as well. It's going to be a little bit of a wait for me.

I just want to do my dream job!!! I know that I need to be patient because it's a difficult career field to get into. I also applied to full time jobs in Seattle and Tacoma but I haven't heard anything yet. I'm just so frustrated!

Will I...

I often think back into the past and wonder, "What was i thinking?" And now I wonder if in the future I'll be thinking the same exact thing about now...

I was often stupid in my days with men. I opened my heart up easily, trusting everyone. And for the most part I don't regret the relationships or the experiences I had with each individual. I think I learned something from every relationship. But then there are those ones that I still question what in the hell was I thinking!

With Marcus, I think I always knew we wouldn't work out. He wasn't emotionally available and he was still hung up on his ex fiancee although he rarely admitted it. He didn't treat me like I deserved to be treated. I have an extremely strong suspicion he cheated on me, but I've been able to move past him for the most part.

With Tommy everything was different. I felt loved, protected, and special. Everything he said or did showed how much he cared. He built me back up and put my heart back together. He saved me. Maybe we just got so comfortable with each other that we got into a rut. And then out of the blue, his ex fiancee starts talking to him and asking for help...and all of a sudden he became a completely different person. He wanted to start watching porn again. He went to a strip club even though he had said before he didn't care to experience that. And he became even more distant than before. I miss the man that I fell in love with. The man that showed me so much love and respect this past year than any man has ever showed me combined. Hell 6 months ago he wanted to propose to me. But now, everything's changed.

I don't want to be thinking about this situation weeks or months or even years from now wondering what I was thinking. Why did I trust again? But I love him so much, more than I've loved any other man so how can I just give up now? Is it worth the pain I'll probably go through later on? I just don't know anymore...what's the right thing to do? I wish I knew.

So for now, I start rebuilding those walls. Those walls that he so easily tore down. I'm not sure how I do it...I just have to...

First poem...

I lay alone in the dark

The pain

The heartache

It tears me apart

Knowing I'm not the only one

That you love her

You miss her

I come completely undone

YA Novel Reading Challenge...

YA Novel Reading Challenge

1/11/11 - 12/31/11 Click Here to sign up! Here are the rules: 1. Anyone can join. You don't need a blog to participate. Create a post about the challenge and link your challenge post up in the linky below. --Non-Bloggers: Post your list of books in the comment section of the wrap-up post. 2. There are four levels: --The Mini YA Reading Challenge – Read 12 Young Adult novels. --The "Fun Size" YA Reading Challenge – Read 20 Young Adult novels. --The Jumbo Size YA Reading Challenge – Read 40 Young Adult novels. --The Mega size YA Reading Challenge – Read 50+ Young Adult novels. 3. Audio, eBooks, paper, re-reads all count. 4. No need to list your books in advance. You may select books as you go. Even if you list them now, you can change the list if needed. 5. The Challenge starts on January 1, 2011 and goes until December 31, 2011.

I'm going to go for the Mini size level for now.

My List:

1. Annexed by Sharon Dogar

2. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephanie Meyer

3. The Chosen One by Carol Lynch Williams

4. If I stay by Gayle Forman

5. A Break with Charity by Ann Rinaldi

6. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

7. Breathless by Lurlene McDaniel

8. Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare

9. Skinned by Robin Wasserman

10. Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater

11. Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys

12. Meridian by Amber Kizer

100 + Reading Challenge...

100 + Reading Challenge

1/11/11 - 12/31/11

Click here to sign up! DETAILS: 1. The goal is to read 100 or more books. Anyone can join. You don't need a blog to participate. Posting on GoodReads or wherever you post your reviews is good enough. 2. Audio, Re-reads, eBooks, YA, Manga, Graphic Novels, Library books, Novellas, Young Reader, Nonfiction – as long as the book has an ISBN or equivalent or can be purchased as such, the book counts. What doesn't count: Individual short stories or individual books in the Bible. 3. No need to list your books in advance. You may select books as you go. Even if you list them now, you can change the list if needed. 4. Crossovers from other reading challenges count. 5. Challenge begins January 1st thru December, 2011. Books started before the 1st do not count. You can join at anytime. 6. When you sign up under Mr. Linky, put the direct link to your post where your books will be listed. Include the URL to this post so that other viewers can find this fun challenge. If you’d prefer to put your list in the sidebar of your blog, please leave your viewers the link to the sign up page. Again, so viewers can join the challenge too.

My List:

1. Annexed by Sharon Dogar

2. If I Stay by Gayle Forman

3. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephanie Meyer

4. Ladies Man by Suzanne Brockman

5. The Chosen One by Carol Lynch Williams

6. Number the Stars by Lois Lowry

7. Ice Cold Grave by Charliane Harris

8. A Break with Charity by Ann Rinaldi

9. Sealed with a Kiss by Mary Margret Daughtridge

10. Hard to Hold by Stephanie Tyler

11. Shattered by JoAnn Ross

12. Break Point by JoAnn Ross

13. Crazy Hot by Tara Janzen

14. Undead and Unpopular by Mary Janice Davidson

15. Sealed with a Promise by Mary Margret Daughtridge

16. Dangerous Games by Lora Leigh

17. A Touch of Dead by Charlaine Harris

18. Shakespeare's Landlord by Charlaine Harris

19. The Unsung Hero by Suzanne Brockmann

20. Navy Brides by Debbie Macomber

21. Tell it the the Marines by Amy J. Fetzer

22. Grave Secret by Charlaine Harris

23. Hopes Wish: How One Girls Dream Made Others Come True by Stuart and Shelby Stout

24. The Defiant Hero by Suzanne Brockmann

25. Twilight Children by Torey Hayden

26. Songs of the Humpback Whale by Joci Picoult

27. Sealed with a Ring by Mary Margret Daughtridge

28. Home by Julie Andrews

29. Alex: The Life of a Child by Frank Deford

30. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

31. Not without Hope by Nick Schuyler and Jere Longman

32. Harvesting the Heart by Jodi Picoult

33. Breathless by Lurlene McDaniel

34. The Bright Forever by Lee Martin

35. Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare

36. Sarah's Key by Tatiana De Rosnay

37. Skinned by Robin Wasserman

38. The Boleyn Inheritance by Philippa Gregory

39. Dream When Your Feeling Blue by Elizabeth Berg

40. Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater

41. Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys

42. Meridian by Amber Kizer

43. Everlasting by Angie Frazier

44. Treasure Me by Christine Nolfi

2011 Page to Screen Reading Challenge...

2011 Page to Screen Reading Challenge

1/11/11 - 12/31/11
Click here to sign up.

Prizes:
•One participant will win their choice of book worth up to $15 from Amazon.com or The Book Depository (for international participants in countries that Book Depository ships to).
•Participants must reach reading level one (5 books) by December 31, 2011 to be entered in the drawing.
•Reviews are not required but each review you post will give you an extra entry. So be sure to check back each month to link your reviews!

Rules:
•Read books that were made into movies or T.V. shows
•Books must be read between January 1-December 31, 2011
•Rereads count!
•You can also watch the movies/T.V. shows as part of the challenge but it is not a requirement
•If you watch T.V. shows, you should watch 2 hours of the show to be equal to one movie
•Books that are currently being made into movies also count as long as the movie will be released sometime in 2011
•Make a post about the challenge using my challenge logo and link your post below to sign up
•As stated above, reviews of the books/movies you watch/read are not required but they count as extra prize entries!
•Make a wrap up post at the end of the challenge and link it to my wrap up post

Reading Levels:
•Level one-Read 5 books that were made into movies/T.V. shows
•Level two-Read 10 books that were made into movies/T.V. shows
•Level three-Read 15 books that were made into movies/T.V. shows
•Level four-Read 20 books that were made into movies/T.V. shows

Reading and Watching Levels:
•Level one-Read 5 books made into movies/T.V. shows and watch the movies/shows
•Level two-Read 10 books made into movies/T.V. shows and watch the movies/shows
•Level three-Read 15 books made into movies/T.V. shows and watch the movies/shows
•Level four-Read 20 books made into movies/T.V. shows and watch the movies/shows

I'm going to go for level one on reading level for now.

Reading Challenges: Nicholas Sparks and Men in Uniform

I successfully completed the 100+ reading challenge last year with exactly 100 books read. Since I love reading so much I've decided to participate in more challenges this year. I'll list them here in case anyone wants to join or just wants to know more about it.

The first challenge is the Nicholas Sparks reading challenge.

Nicholas Sparks Reading Challenge 2011

1/1/11 - 12/31/11

Details:

•Runs January 1, 2011 through December 31, 2011(books read prior to 1/1/11 do not count towards the challenge). You can join at anytime – Sign up on The Book Vixen’s blog.
•The goal is to read or re-read as many Nicholas Sparks novels as you’d like. See the different levels below and pick the one that works best for you. Nothing is set in stone; you can change levels at any time during the challenge.
•Books can be any format (bound, eBook, audio).
•Re-reads and crossovers from other reading challenges are fine.
•You can list your books in advance or list them as you read them. It is not required that you review the books you read for this challenge but feel free to do so.
•Post this reading challenge on your blog so you can keep a list of the books you’ve read for this challenge. Please include a link back to this post so readers can join the challenge too.
•You do not have to be a book blogger to participate. You can keep tabs on books you’ve read for this challenge on Goodreads or LibraryThing if you’d like (maybe make a shelf for “Nicholas Sparks Reading Challenge”). If you are not on either of those sites then you can list the books you read for this challenge in the comments on my wrap-up post, which will be up at the end of 2011.
Levels:
First Date – Read 1–4 Nicholas Sparks novels
Going Steady – Read 5–8 Nicholas Sparks novels
Engaged – Read 9–12 Nicholas Sparks novels
Married – Read 13–16 Nicholas Sparks novels

I will be going for the First Date level, hoping to reach 4 books. I imagine I will change it later on though. I will list the books as I'm reading them or as I finish them.

Books:

Men In Uniform Reading Challenge

1/11/11 - 12/31/11

Details:

•Runs January 1, 2011 through December 31, 2011(books read prior to 1/1/11 do not count towards the challenge). You can join at anytime – Sign up on The Book Vixen’s blog.
•The goal is to read as many novels that involve men in inform as you’d like. It can be a policeman, firefighter, paramedic, Army, Navy, Marine Corp., etc. – As long as the leading man wears some sort of uniform, it counts. See the different levels below and pick the one that works best for you. Nothing is set in stone; you can change levels at any time during the challenge.
•Books can be any format (bound, eBook, audio).
•Re-reads and crossovers from other reading challenges are fine.
•You can list your books in advance or list them as you read them. It is not required that you review the books you read for this challenge but feel free to do so.
•Post this reading challenge on your blog so you can keep a list of the books you’ve read for this challenge. Please include a link back to this post so readers can join the challenge too.
•You do not have to be a book blogger to participate. You can keep tabs on books you’ve read for this challenge on Goodreads or LibraryThing if you’d like (maybe make a shelf for “Men in Uniform Reading Challenge”). If you are not on either of those sites then you can list the books you read for this challenge in the comments on my wrap-up post, which will be up at the end of 2011.


Levels:

Sergeant – Read 1–5 men in uniform novels
Lieutenant – Read 6–10 men in uniform novels
Captain – Read 11–15 men in uniform novels
Chief – Read 16+ men in uniform novels

I will be going for the Lieutenant Level, hoping to read 5 books. However, I also think i will increase it as time goes on. I'll list the books I read here.

Books:

1. Ladies Man by Suzanne Brockmann

2. Sealed with a Kiss by Mary Margret Daughtridge

3. Hard to Hold by Stephanie Tyler

4. Shattered by JoAnn Ross

5. BreakPoint by JoAnn Ross

6. Sealed with a Promise by Mary Margret Daughtridge

7. Navy Brides by Debbie Macomber

8. Tell it to the Marines by Amy J. Fetzer

9. The Unsung Hero by Suzanne Brockmann

10. The Defiant Hero by Suzanne Brockmann

Quote for today...

Sometimes you’ll kiss someone & know that’s the person you`re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life.

Ground zero...

I do not care what anyone says. It is not okay to build a mosque near ground zero. Now, I know many people's arguments are that it's a community center. I think that's BULLSHIT. It's just another excuse to cover up the real thing.

Why must it be built there? Can't they build it somewhere else? They could if they wanted to. But instead they feel the need to slap us in the face.

It is inappropriate and insensitive to the lives that were lost that day as well to all those men and women who are fighting to keep our country safe. People say that we need to be tolerant of their religion and beliefs. I say, "Hey, doesn't that go both ways?"

77% of Americans do not think building the mosque at Ground Zero is a good idea. And yet Obama is still endorsing it. Well no surprise there.

Stressed about life...

Life stresses me out.

I'm graduating after the summer quarter which will be in September. I have no idea what is going to happen. I have to resign my lease for my apartment because I need a place to stay over summer. However, if I don't get a job my parents are not going to continue to pay for rent. I also don't want a meaningless job. If I want to be a child life specialist I'm going to have to move somewhere else. Jobs in the field are scarce here, but are more available on the east coast.

This is where my problem comes in. What about Tommy? I don't want to leave him. I know he said he would help support me in any way he can. What should I do?

Not to mention I feel enormous pressure from my parents not only to move home but to get a job right away. Why do I have to graduate? Maybe I could put off graduating just a little bit longer....ha. We shall see I guess.

Good news...

I applied for an internship in the spring at the hospital. It's the child life internship and I have to do it in order to do that job. My advisor at the hospital for my field study said that my application was by far the best. She said she's going to try to be on the interview panel and she feels like I have a really good chance of getting it. I hope so. I want this with all my heart. I know that this job is perfect for me and I really hope this internship goes to me. Wish me luck!

I'm so excited just thinking about it! Except for the fact that it will be extremely stressful. It will be 9 to 5 type of job and then I will have to go to work in the evenings so I can afford to pay my bills. I don't know how I'm going to handle it.

Plus I have some strange things going on with my body. Awkward I know. My lymph nodes are swollen for no reason. I'm not sick, don't have any signs of having a cold or flu. They took blood and did an xray but both came back normal. So I have to go back on Friday if it's still there. And it definitely seems like it's going to still be there. It could be nothing at all but it could be something serious so I'm going to keep my eye on it.

It still lingers...

Every once in awhile Marcus pops into my mind. It still hurts. I know it takes time. I just wish it hadn't ended the way it did.

I should have known it would end. The whole time we were together he didn't show complete interest in me. He had his sweet moments and I believed him when he said I love you. It really was so confusing, it baffles me. Before he left he said he wanted to move in together when he got back. He promised me I would see him again. I promised him I would be waiting for him when he got back. I realize that we never would have worked and that everything happens for a reason. Marcus and I would not have been good together and I deserved much better.

I just wish that it would go away completely. My heart has almost healed; but every once in awhile the pain hits me.

Finally...Internet!!!!

I finally got internet! YAY! So now I can update this regularly.

Tommy got back from the first phase of his Survival training last weekend. He lost about 15 pounds. I could see his ribs. It was so good to have him back. He's leaving again soon for another week.

This entry is lame and boring. I apologize. Not to much going on.

Sick...

I am sickly this week. Another cold. I swear my immune system is the worst ever.

I'm seriously running on zero energy yet I somehow get up every day at 6:30, make it to the hospital for my field study, go to class, and work until ten at night. I can't wait for the weekend. I need a break desperately. Of course, It sucks being sick on the weekend. Now I can't do anything fun.

I'm jealous of people who are never sick.

I don't have time to be sick.

I really just want to be able to cuddle up with my man but alas...he is busy. He started Team last week so we barely talk. Hopefully we can see each other this weekend though. Fingers crossed!

2010 Reading Challenge...

I've started a new challenge for this year. The goal is to read 100 books or more this year. I will post all the books I've read on the sidebar of my blog. Below is the link and instructions about the challenge in case anyone wants to join.





1. The goal is to read 100 or more books. Anyone can join. You don't need a blog to participate.

--Non-Bloggers: Post your list of books in the comment section of the wrap-up post. To learn how to sign up without having a blog, click here.

2. Audio, Re-reads, eBooks, YA, Manga, Graphic Novels, Library books, Novellas, Young Reader, Nonfiction – as long as the book has an ISBN or equivalent or can be purchased as such, the book counts.

What doesn't count: Individual short stories or individual books in the Bible.

3. No need to list your books in advance. You may select books as you go. Even if you list them now, you can change the list if needed.

4. Crossovers from other reading challenges count.

5. Challenge begins January 1st thru December, 2010. Books started before the 1st do not count.

The Beginning...

I've started this blog because I feel as though there are so many feelings I need to express; but don't ever get the chance too. I lie in bed every night trying to work through the non-stop ramblings in my head.

I don't know if anyone will read this or even care about a word I write. But I figure it might be a little therapeutic for me. So I guess I should tell a little bit about myself. I'm a senior in college but not graduating until after summer (hopefully). I'm double majoring in Children's Studies and psychology; with an emphasis on Child Life. For those of you who don't know, a Child Life specialists works in hospitals with children who are undergoing traumatic hospital experiences (i.e. cancer, surgeries, etc). They are kind of like counselors.

I'm currently dating a man in the Air Force. We've been together about two months and I'm very optimistic about this relationship. For once, I feel loved and safe.

I'm also a proud member of Alpha Omicron Pi. I love my sisters!

I think that's all for now. Later!